bodyparts 51

it's a long time
since I looked into the mirror
the fear is gone
the white hairs spreading

all the rest recognizable since then

when I was looking for the answers
in other peoples eyes
in the mirrors
I passed on my way

still trying and still learning

I've deided to go slower
than my patience does allow me
standing still, the sirens screaming
waiting for them to go silent once again

wondering if it will always be a fight

I slowed down to almost still
yet time is moving forward
my face slightly older
than my soul

bodyparts 50

distrust
like a dress twisted thrice around my body
like a wet shirt pulled up over my face

how could i breath?
how could i see?
how could i walk?
how could i find
beauty or peace?

and what on earth did you expect?

love?

bodyparts 49

i've been trying to catch my soul
get a glimpse of how it works
and maybe even what for

but all i learn from the effort
is that a soul has a million shapes
a billion reasons of existance
and endless halls and doors

i try to follow where it leads me
as it keeps shouting in my dreams
and only yesterday was told
that between the body and the soul
there should be visible seams

i might look into that more deeply
figure out what thread is used
a scarlet thread to follow
or a designed thread of control

or maybe i just let it be
accept the noise and colours
the ties to flesh and bones
forget the understanding
and move on through the next door

bodyparts 48

pretending

i could pretend i can swim
backstrokes, butterfly
upriver
or going
with the stream
it wouldn't take much
to convice the crowd
everybody kicking
for their own struggle and dreams
who would see
below the surface
my life jacket
the risk i take
who would say
my strokes don't work
my pedaling
is useless
when we all follow
each other
in tight
formation
none of us needing
another weight
to carry
barely making it ourselves
i could pretend...

but i like floating more
looking
up
as far as up will reach
in weightless
solitude
aimlessly
reaching my shore